Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
