Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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