Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
