i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
