OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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