we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
