ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
