Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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