I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
