is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
