if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize