It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
