I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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