i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
