just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
