Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
