Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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