I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
