Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
