I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
