if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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