I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
