Already got asked if we're dating
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
