dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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