Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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