it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's shark week go big or go home
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
