Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
