I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
