Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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