I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize