whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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