He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
