don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
