carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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