well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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