no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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