when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
