You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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