I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
