Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
