Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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