Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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