please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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