how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
