Christians are straight up FREAKS
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
