Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
