Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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