One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
