You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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