it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
