i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize