is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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