Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
