The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
