She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize