Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
