what day is it and did you see me today?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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