you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
