Michael Bay diarrhea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
